A diagnosis is not a definition...

Receiving a diagnosis for a chronic condition is an interesting thing. I have always been on the giving or supporting end of this, not the receiving end. I have a new appreciation for what some of my patients go through.

This week I was told I have fibromyalgia. It is good to have an explanation for how miserable I have been feeling, however it is not really what I wanted to hear. I wanted something far less permanent. I am still processing it all and find myself thinking about it way to much. There was the shock and then the grief and now the beginning of acceptance mixed with defeat. It is hard not just giving into this. I understand now why some people sink into great depressions and give up when faced with serious health issues. There is a large part of me that wants to lay down in my bed and not get up for a good long while. I guess this is the poor me part of the deal. I need to remember that this diagnosis is not a definition of who I am. It is something my body is experiencing. It can't control or define my life, unless I let it.

Spiritually I am accepting things well. I know that God was not surprised by this. I also know that God doesn't want this for my life. I believe that God wants only good for His children. However, part of living in a sinful world is getting sick. There is a verse however that has come to mind and brings hope. Even though God really wants his children to not suffer, He uses our time on this earth in a refining way.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:27-29

Reading the whole of Romans 8 is very encouraging. This world may throw a big curve ball at me however,

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31b

Amen and Amen!