The Will of God

To me, knowing God's will has always been an elusive thing, like trying to hold water in my hand. There are in life some things that the Bible speaks directly on, that are abundantly clear. We shouldn't murder or covet, etc. However, there are things that we must figure out for ourselves. I think God's does this so we know that we need him, so that we seek him and pursue a relationship with him. Which job to take, what house to buy, weather to buy a car now or later. All of these things are major decisions and yet to know God's will on them is difficult.

I have been seeking God's will in an area of my life for about a year now. It has been an arduous journey, a very personal struggle with fear and desire. I have sought God's face and a few months ago I would have said that I knew what God was directing me towards. Now, when it has not occurred like I thought, I am questioning God's will. The war in my head is constant. I desire for something that I finally surrendered to and now it is being held just out of reach. The tears come even now.

I have been in relationship with God long enough to know that his loving kindness is better than life, to know that he is holding me and crying also. And yet the plan he has is evading me. How do I continue to trust his hand when it seems to have changed so abruptly?

As of yet, I have no answers and no peace on the matter. I am waiting, hoping in some stillness I hear his whisper, singing to myself It is well with my soul.

When peace like a river, attendith my way. When sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well with my soul.

My sin, Oh the bliss of that glorious day, my sin not in part but the whole, was nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord oh my soul!

It is well with my soul. It is well, it is well with my soul.

Speaking yet of God's will and yet of different situations around me I continue to struggle with the choices God makes for people's lives. I will not go into detail but a theory was presented to me the other day that I must reject. It was said that maybe God really isn't involved in the world anymore, that he is just letting the natural course of things occur. For a moment this makes sense and even makes me feel better. I think, well that is an answer for some of life's tragedy, but then it hits me, it would mean I would go through tragedies alone. I believe that the Bible is one hundred percent truth and it speaks clearly that God is all around and in control. Although that raises more questions than it answers, it bring peace and stability that is unmeasurable. As much as I seek understanding I seek more security, in my heavenly father whose love is deeper than the oceans.