Temper tantrums

We went to Wal-mart tonight. We've all been out to the store and witnessed a small child having a complete meltdown in the aisle. This is usually due to the fact that the child is overtired, ignored, or has not been briefed properly for the outing (no, I'm not buying you anything, no you can't have that candy, don't sit in the middle of the aisle, etc.).

Tonight, a member of my family suffered a meltdown at the Wal-mart. There, in the dry food section, one member of my precious family had had enough. They were tired, annoyed, sick of people not listening, sick (which didn't help anything) and just plain over done. Surprisingly enough, the temper tantrum was mine. I lost it, not completely, but I did. A few tears were shed and I made an impassioned speech (quietly) to my family. Then we finish up and went home.
Did my tantrum help? A little, sometime I feel the need to make sure I'm heard. Probably everyone feels that way sometimes. It did not however, help my already stuffy nose. It did not set a good example to my children of how to handle one's self when stressed out. And it did not ease my frustration. What it did was cause me to think.

To those who know me well, you know I am inclined to these little moments. I cannot say that I am always in full control of my emotions. This is something I have struggled with my whole life and lately have been trying to gain more control over. I was at a conference last spring and one of the speakers said something that is changing this part of my life. She said that we all have a will to overcome our emotions. Somehow I had never thought of that. I always felt that my emotions were bad, that I had to change them. But really, my feelings are mine and God created me to feel them, to be passionate. What I need to work on is not letting my emotions control me or dictate how I act towards myself and others. I can call on the name of God to rise up above what I am feeling (emotionally or physically) and he meets me there. My emotions don't change, but I lay them at His feet to take care of and walk away with His strength to do what I need to be doing.

I had let this all slip my mind lately and the result was my melt down. (I did get a few looks from other shoppers.) My weekend at work was challenging, more so because I didn't remember this. How I wish that I could see Jesus walking with me. I so easily forget his presence, he is so patient to remind me. At work last night, while having just been in a difficult meeting, I went out to take care of my patients. As I tended to this man, who was mostly unaware of his surroundings and had been restless all night, I began to hum the song 'Great is Thy Faithfulness'. God gave me that song to calm and refocus me, even when I was to stubborn to ask for help. I sang a little to my patient and tucked him in.

He slept soundly all night.

"Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh God my father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, Thy compassion's they fail not. Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord onto me.